HI.I haven't been able to find any info on this subject on line. so I have opened up this file in hopes that other adopted and birth parents will come and post .My son is adopted and is now 8 years old in Dec. I need support from others with the same problems. He is ADHD also. I am going crazy not having others to talk with. Thanks.. and god bless. I also home-school my
son......Karla
SUBJECT: FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-09 10:29:05 EST
From: ShelleyHL
I am happy to see a folder regarding this topic. As a teacher, I look forward to seeing perspectives about youngsters with Fetal Alcohol Effect/Syndrome.
ShelleyHL
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-11 01:48:52 EST
From: Okuhara
I am ecstatic that we can now discuss FAS and issues concerning individuals who have FAS. I am a special ed. teacher who has as student with FAS and ADHD. She is really very bright - understands concepts very easily, remembers objectives covered in different units, learns sight words very quickly and retains them, etc. What I find most challenging is the ADHD. It is very difficult for her to follow 2-step directions and to not wander around the classroom the moment I take my full attention away from her. She has very good cutting skills, so I have taken to providing her worksheets that cover her academics that she has to cut and paste. I have to keep a close eye on her when she pastes, because she likes to eat the glue, but the cutting is something she can do independently while I try to work with the other kids.
Any other suggestions would be very much appreciated!
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-11 04:49:16 EST
From: BUNITELS
Well, I can tell you that I am A mom of a son with FAE/ADHD. The 2 go together like milk and cookies.(cant have one without the other. LOL).My son is 8 and did a few years in public school. I am glad to see you are taking an interest in this special girl. They are very good at cutting, that's 4 sure. LOL. Give her paste that she can eat. These kids are different and have to be treated so. It is to much work for you to be constantly watching this kid. Ignore what you can, They cannot help themselves. She will learn just by doing. And I know she hears you even when she's gabbin with her friends have been working everyday with my son from the time he came to us at 12 mo. Its hard. Everyday is a challenge. If she gets disruptive give her something to do. that helps. If you want more info e-mail or post. I have worked with teachers on this b4.
Karla
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-11 18:34:40 EST
From: ELECTRA181
I teach Special Ed. in an inner city public school. This is my third year with M., an eleven year old, with FAS, and LD , ADD and a hearing and speech impairment. She was adopted by her Foster Mother. This mother still takes foster babies and usually has two or three, all of whom have different limitations. M. seems to have the knowledge but can't always apply it. She knows to start a sentence with a capital, but only does it one time out of five. She rarely remembers periods, or to put her name on her paper. She has made progress, these past years and has advanced a lot in reading this year. I'm anxious to test her and find out the exact levels for this year. She seems to learn in spurts. She doesn't get it for so long, then next time she knows it. She grins so sweetly when she does this. She used to whine a little when we did math, but finally she can subtract with regrouping and she loves doing it now.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-11 20:46:42 EST
From: BUNITELS
These children usually have short term memory problems. So it is so typical of them to not get it maybe until the 50th time you've taught it or told it to them. They learn, but in a very different way from anyone else. And it takes much time and patients. That Is why I have chose to home-school Greg. The one on one is SO important.
Karla
SUBJECT: FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-13 19:19:19 EST
From: U5054
I am a sped tchr. with FAS/FAE students also. One of the best books I've read about FAS/FAE is THE BROKEN CORD by Michael Dorris....ISBN 0-06-016071-3. Some of these kids haven't a clue to what consequences are. Many of them without good supervision do not live long lives due to the fact that they don't understand what can happen when they make the wrong choices.
Many of them have other health problems as well. I haven't met one yet that doesn't have a sweet smile. I look for those "baby steps" in learning. It takes so much time!!!! JK
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-14 22:04:38 EST
From: R u Niz
Great to see this topic included in the board. I just received a student back in my class that I haven't seen since second grade-due to transfer to a self-contained class in another school. He is now in 8th grade. I suspect FAE or FAS. Parents are alcoholic-long term. He is reading at about 6th grade level-IEP says mainstream for math, science, social studies, but labels him as self-contained status. I think the extra Sp-ed time may be for behavior. Attention span is short-he talks to himself in a soft whine-just like he did 6 years ago. In Broken Cord, mention is made of physical attributes as well as learning characteristics. Does anybody know how to be certain of a diagnosis? My student looks normal, but his behavior and family history suggest otherwise. I'm waiting for the rest of his paperwork to be transferred from the other school. Thanks!
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-14 22:16:25 EST
From: U5054
I have one FAS student who is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. Then there's a little fellow that I work with that has the short fingers, wide-set eyes, no groove, and no fold on the ear. One extreme to the other.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-15 12:21:52 EST
From: RhoLaren
R U niz
From the little I have read on the subject, it seems that FAS is really a continuum (?) of behaviors. There is also FAD (Fetal Alcohol Disorder) which is one another place on the continuum. Depending on which parts of the fetus were developing, you might see different areas of the brain and physique affected. Am I correct, so far, people who really know about this syndrome?
SUBJECT: FAS resources
Date: 96-11-16 13:12:47 EST
From: Okuhara
Just found a great website on FAS/FAE!
Keyword - www.yahoo.com
Health
- Diseases
type in - Fetal Alcohol Syndrome - click on SEARCH
Creative Consultants, Inc. contains a very informative overview of FAS/FAE among other great things! Happy hunting.
Okuhara
SUBJECT: FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-17 02:03:15 EST
From: BUNITELS
Sorry to say, no such thing as FAD. Just another word someone made up. I am an adoptive parent of one of these kids, and also the one who made this area. I want to talk with other parents, not teachers who think they know all about FAS. Believe me you have no idea about these kids. I home-school my son because the teachers don't know crap and cant help. I teach my son better than anyone and I don't need a 4 yr. degree. Every child with FAS is different. There are many different levels to this thing called FAS.NOBODY knows why. they just don't know enough. IT is NOT a disorder it is like having downs or md or ms, it is a birth defect, and a preventable one. I have no pity for a mother who subjects her unborn baby(NOT FETUS)to such hell. I am disgusted with people saying "ohhh, how sad". Do something about it if it's so sad to you. These kids can be like any other kid if treated right. And if in the right environment. Expect a little more from them and stop feeling sorry for them. But also understand...Thanks for letting me vent and point out some truth....Karla
SUBJECT: Re:FAS resources
Date: 96-11-17 02:47:30 EST
From: BUNITELS
Cant find that web sight at all.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-17 10:27:36 EST
From: RhoLaren
BUNITELS, you are right, I should have said FAE. Sorry my brain was not
working when my fingers were.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-17 10:30:11 EST
From: RhoLaren
Karla,
Even though I got the initials wrong, I do believe I did say that there were many different facets to the disorder. And, do not tell me that as a teacher, I know nothing about the problem. We were alerted many years ago to the FAS?FAE syndrome. And I used the term fetus because that is what an unborn child is called.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE Ms. G
Date: 96-11-17 17:48:44 EST
From: Brcodad
How do you identify a child with FAE, the tell tale signs are usually not
present.
SUBJECT: FAS
Date: 96-11-17 17:54:31 EST
From: Brcodad
Karla, there are teachers whom do know about FAS. We also do give a shit. Our biggest obstacle is when the parents refuse to acknowledge the fact that they damaged their children. It's a hard lesson to live with ! However, if teachers don't know where the learning disability is stemming from, it is very difficult to help them succeed.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-17 21:50:01 EST
From: BUNITELS
This is part of the problem I have with Teachers. They think they know it all because they went to school and are teachers. You will NEVER know what a child with FAS needs, or what its like to care for one every day of their life!! Being informed doesn't mean squat!!!! I was informed when this child was placed in my home. But nothing prepared me(or could have)for what I was in for. For 7 years I have lived, ate and slept FAS. So don't give me your holier than thou attitude, miss teacher. Do I sound a bit irritated??? Good guess, cus I am steaming mad!!!!!!!
Karla
SUBJECT: FAS/PARENT SUPPORT
Date: 96-11-18 01:08:43 EST
From: BUNITELS
I feel the need to state my position on this subject and on this specific post board.
I am a adoptive parent of a child with fetal alcohol syndrome. I wanted a place where I could go and get SUPPORT from other parents with FAS children. This is not a place for arguing or debating. And to a point I let myself get into that. I will not do that again. However, I will not tolerate being made to look ignorant. That is all I have to say on that.
Anyone is welcome to post here, but please remember this is a forum for parental support of FAS kids. We do not need the advice of teachers. But your comments are welcome! There are MANY parents who have adopted FAS kids out there and I want them to feel comfortable enough to post in here and not worry about being criticized.
Thank you and God bless.....Karla
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/PARENT SUPPORT
Date: 96-11-18 09:09:20 EST
From: Ratatat
<<Anyone is welcome to post here, but please remember this is a forum for parental support of FAS kids. We do not need the advice of teachers. But your comments are welcome! There are MANY parents who have adopted FAS kids out there and I want them to feel comfortable enough to post in here and not worry about being criticized.>>
This is a public message board where all member of AOL who have comments to contribute can make them. This message folder is not "owned" by anyone. This is a message board where ISSUES should be discussed. It is not a place to disqualify people who post because they have opinions or statements to make that are different. It is a place to offer advise, information, comment and support. It is not a place to be reduced to name-calling or derogatory personal statements. FAS/FAE is a topic that is confusing to many people, and the effort here should *always* be to *gently* clarify mis-statements. It is important *not* to just to conclusions, read between lines or jump on someone because of a mis-statement or difference of opinion. That goes for each and every person who chooses to post in this message board.
Please review the rules of the road under TOS about personal attacks. Personal attacks will NOT be tolerated in the Special Education Forum. Ratatat, Assistant Host for Special Education.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/PARENT SUPPORT
Date: 96-11-18 09:14:49 EST
From: Ratatat
<< It is important *not* to just to conclusions, read between lines or jump on someone because of a mis-statement or difference of opinion. >.
I'm correct a typo that "looks" like a mis-statement: This *should* say "jump to conclusions."
SUBJECT: SUPPORT
Date: 96-11-18 10:52:30 EST
From: BUNITELS
I am an adoptive parent of a child with FAS and am looking to talk with
others parents of FAS kids. If you like you can E-mail me.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/PARENT
SUPPORT
Date: 96-11-18 10:55:31 EST
From: BUNITELS
well, I feel that you have personally attacked me. Maybe my choice of words were wrong, but I never said I OWNED the board, only pointed out what the board was intended for.
Karla
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/PARENT SUPPORT
Date: 96-11-18 16:18:42 EST
From: RhoLaren
Sorry, mem sahib. You are in the teacher's bulletin board section, el duh. I forgot, you know everything. Go for it.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/PARENT SUPPORT
Date: 96-11-18 20:54:59 EST
From: Tipsitop
sense when is special education a teaches only area?? And what is all the purpose for all the hostility. I am tired of this and am going to make my own report.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/PARENT SUPPORT
Date: 96-11-19 19:33:59 EST
From: RhoLaren
If you are referring to me, I am hurt. I posted here because people were talking about FAE/FAS. Actually, it was someone who is a parent who was negative towards me. I was not negative towards anyone. If you are referring to my last post. Don't you think I have a right to be upset after what was said? No one ever said ONLY teachers could post here. It was a parent who wanted us off a folder in the TEACHERS area. TEACHERS area does not mean only teachers can post there, you are right. BUT, do not tell us we cannot.
SUBJECT:
Who can post?
Date: 96-11-20 06:58:15 EST
From: Ratatat
Just to clarify things, this area can be accessed through the "Teacher's Lounge," part of the teacher's interest area, and through "Families," an area for parents' concerns.
It is a public message board and anyone who is a member of AOL can post here as long as the rules of the road are followed.
I would also ask that the discussion about who said what, and what they meant stop. It is actually "off topic" and is not specifically relevant to FAS/FAE. I think we need to let this "sidebar" discussion die here.
Ratatat, Assistant Host for Special Education
SUBJECT: RULES!!! :)
Date: 96-11-20 08:44:14 EST
From: SusanS29
As host and assistant host of this area, Ratatat and I have the right *and the duty* to do what we can to keep the discussion on topic.
Therefore *all* posts which are about anything except FAS/FAE will removed from view.
I'm sorry, but I'm sick. I have a temp of 102 and right now I do not have the physical energy to copy each message that will be hidden, send it to the person who placed it, and explain whatever fine point of AOL's few rules is involved. I will do that tomorrow or the next day if people desire it.
But FOR NOW: the messages that remain violate no rule in any way. They single no one out. There are no "slams" of any kind.
Ratatat is absolutely right when she says not to read in between the lines.
Please, everyone-read your posts. Make sure they're not argumentative, and that they don't contain attacks on specific individuals, because if they do, they *will* be removed from view.
There is nothing to fight over. This area is open to *anyone* on AOL who wants to come here: parents, teachers, administrators, school janitors, and even tax payers who have no other connection to the school system. NO restrictions. ALL are welcome.
But if things don't settle down, there are other options, such as removing the entire folder from view for a couple of days to allow people to cool down, or to archive the old messages and start again with an empty folder.
If things don't settle down, quite possibly one of those things will be done, because right now I'm spending a half hour or more each day dealing with the problems that keep popping up in this folder.
SUBJECT: Re:RULES!!! :)
Date: 96-11-20 09:03:34 EST
From: RhoLaren
Thank you,
Per usual, you, Susan and Ratatat have injected some much needed sanity.
Thank you.
SUBJECT: What do I do?
Date: 96-11-21 02:46:00 EST
From: BUNITELS
I guess I have been in a form of denial where my sons disability is concerned. I keep telling myself he is doing great and has no real serious signs of FAS. He is doing great. But I see he has problems that I really didn't think much about before. He cant see that if he does something what the affect might be. He is almost 8,in a few weeks. I broke down in tears this morning because of something he did. It wasn't so much the action that upset me, it was the realization that he may never be 'normal'. And that he had more problems then I had wanted to see. When we adopted him I really did know and except what we were getting into. I have over the years gone into denial. Now I see that my son may never have the life I had hoped for him. Will he go to college? Will, he get a good job? Will he get married and have a family? Lots of questions, and no answers! My heart is breaking. I have never sat down and thought of all this, not really. He is mine, God sent him to us to raise. And we love him more than anything. I thank God for him, disability and all. Thanks for listening. I really needed to talk about this. Please pray for our family, and other families like ours.
God bless......Karla
SUBJECT: Re:What do I do?
Date: 96-11-22 20:43:44 EST
From: SusanS29
Karla, I don't know what your son's potential will be, but I know that it will be improved because of your remarkable efforts.
It may take him longer to acquire some skills but that doesn't mean he'll never acquire them. I can only encourage you to hang in there. It does take extra patience to raise such a child, and there would be something wrong if you didn't worry about his future sometimes, but I bet your optimism was appropriate also...
SUBJECT: Re:What do I do?
Date: 96-11-24 02:13:27 EST
From: PPear31329
Dear Karla: I also have an adopted son, he does not have F.A.S. but he does have severe L.D. problems, and is A.D.H.D. I am constantly in school fighting for him to be educated in a way that will leave him with self esteem, and to be treated like a normal child. I don't really know the severity of FAS. But I do know that God sent G. to you like he sent my G. to me because they needed us. And no matter what happens, or how much our special children, learn, they will have faired better because we love them unconditionally. I wish we could some how get through to young girls and expectant mothers just what they are doing to the beautiful miracle that they carry with them. And remember one thing it is much easier for us to face the problems of our children, because we had nothing to do with them... But above all else remember one thing G. was sent to you because you are the only one on this earth, that God felt was the right mom for your beautiful special little boy....Good Luck and God Bless...
P.Pear
SUBJECT: Re: suggestions, ideas???
Date: 96-11-26 00:55:09 EST
From: Kaseyy
Hello,
I work with a 10 year old girl who is identified as having fetal alcohol syndrome and autism. She was making really good progress last year, and now this year has lost many skills she could perform last May. We have the same teachers and therapists for her, and they are very hard working and creative with her. My question; the child's mother explained that it was not unusual for the child to have these "cycles" of gaining and losing skills. Is this part of FAS? Is there anything else I should know? or ask? I've read the Broken Cord, which was very helpful. I really care about this little girl, and want to do the very best I can with her. Any suggestions, thoughts, questions, etc. that might be posted here would be very much appreciated. Sincerely, kaseyy
SUBJECT: Re: suggestions, ideas???
Date: 96-11-26 01:09:46 EST
From: Manicdays
Kaseyy, I must agree, It is very typical of FAS kids to learn something and then forget it. My son learned one year to write hi whole name and a few months later in school, he couldn't do it. This has to do with the FAS and memory functions. Repetition works very well. You have to go over it and over it. And review it like crazy. That is why so many teachers get frustrated with our kids and stop trying. In a way I don't blame them, it is so time consuming, hat is why I took the responsibility and now home-school him .I have lots of time to devote to him. He had a great teacher last year in first grade, she really cared and she tried. But having 24-30 kids in a class makes it really hard. I am so glad when I hear o teachers who are dedicated and wanting to help these kids. FAS kids do much better with one on one. Reg. text books are tough. They do(most)well with hands on learning. I.E. using real money for counting math instead of beans. Small things like that. Good luck. And God bless...........Karla
SUBJECT: Re: suggestions, ideas???
Date: 96-11-26 08:17:50 EST
From: SusanS29
Kaseyy, document the child's losses over the summer. That should make the child eligible for special education over the summer, and hopefully hold off some of this backtracking.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FA
Date: 96-11-29 17:19:57 EST
From: Brcodad
Karla, last week when I offended you, I'm sorry. I realize that you adopted your FAS child . I am very thankful that people care enough to help others. My point was that as a teacher, if the parents don't disclose all information on the child that is available, it is much more difficult to help the child learn to the best of their potential. Again I'm sorry I offended you.
SUBJECT:
Re: FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-30 10:47:30 EST
From: MNGBacon
I am a special education teacher and have one student in my class with FAS/E. She is in fifth grade. Also, when I was in college, I did several studies on FAS and am quite familiar with the subject. My student is also adopted.
Please let me know if you have any questions that I might be able to help you with. Michelle
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-30 10:58:15 EST
From: MNGBacon
I think it's great that you are willing to take on such a project as home schooling. My only concern is that there is enough time for you. I understand that you may not need a four year degree to "teach" your child, however, we did go to school so that you could have a life of your own. I applaud many people who home school their children, I just know that when my day is over, I can go home and try to forget about everything. You are surrounded around him/her 24/7. School isn't a bad place for children with severe disabilities, especially with new teachers. I have found that new special day class (SDC) teachers are full of a knowledge of wealth and excellent interventions. If everyone sticks together and helps to keep class sizes down, then the ratio of student to teacher shouldn't be more than 4:1. There are also many hours of the day where 1;1 is happening. It sounds to me like you had a bad experience with school and now have burdened yourself with home-schooling. Good luck, and remember this child will probably be with you for a very long time, if not forever. Make time for yourself ----lots.
SUBJECT:
Re: FAS/FA
Date: 96-11-30 14:58:14 EST
From: Manicdays
thanks for the apology. I agree very much with what you say, many parents don't
inform the school on a lot of things....Karla
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-30 15:07:16 EST
From: Manicdays
Thank you Michelle, but I like having my son around all the time. And he is my responsibility, not the schools, or anyone else's I understand your concern. And people have been doing this for along time without getting burned out. I have fun with my son. We get along well and do lots of stuff together as a family. We can have fun just going to the store to get milk. He is very much my kindred, we are so much alike. God gave this child to me for a reason, he was meant to be my child all along I believe.
And I don't think I clarified before that he is actually FAE and ADHD, but both are mild, thank God!
Thank you again....Karla
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-11-30 20:10:33 EST
From: Lillie H 1
My Foster daughter is FAS just recently, I need to know what ever information anyone might have on the subject I am especially interested in how do you prepared a lesson plan for FAS children or where can I get more information about FAS pertaining to education
SUBJECT: Re:What do I do?
Date: 96-11-30 21:22:55 EST
From: ELECTRA181
I have been in your shoes. I have asked myself and the doctors those questions. I just kept on keeping on. My child was born with what they called minimal brain dysfunction, 25 years ago. I was a teacher before starting my family, when he was born, I saw the differences from the normal development my other children went through. The Pediatrician, said I was an over reactive mother, things would come around. They never really did. He has been labeled Autistic, ADHD, Emotionally Impaired, LD, and a little CP. I went back for a Master's in Special Ed. I've been to a lot of seminars since and keep trying to learn all about brain dysfunctions. I found that his symptoms most closely match FAS. I did not drink or smoke during my pregnancy, and that term wasn't around during his schooling. He never fit into any of the categories, still doesn't. But as you said things take a long time. He just moved from a reading level of 1.5 to 2.9 this year at 25 years old. I worked him up to 3rd grade one year, but one day he could read the book, the next he couldn't. He needs to learn social skills, in a benign environment, and he has been making progress in those areas finally in the last 3 years. In Michigan kids can attend Sp Ed programs up to 26 years old, but they might rescind that soon. My son now has a job, with a job coach, who handles all of the problems, and checks back with me. It is great, and for the first time he seems to have a future. I hope that you will reach this level someday with your child.
SUBJECT: FAS Child
Date: 96-12-09 16:28:21 EST
From: ORLesley
I'm really glad to see this site. I had been using AOL's Webcrawler to go to the FAS site in Washington State. (Just type in FAS or Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) I am a lay expert on FAS and have testified in Court on the behavioral effects of FAS on juveniles who've been arrested. I have an adopted 12 year old son who is full-blown FAS, but not ADHD. FAS is diagnosed when a standard set of physical characteristics combined with known maternal ethanol consumption. Exposure can be mild or severe. IQ's can run from 20-110. But, the most common problems are the behaviors: impulsivity, inability to understand consequences, poor judgment and reasoning skills, difficulty with abstract concepts, lying, stealing and other inappropriate behaviors. I home-schooled my son for two years to "get him up to speed", but he's 50% mainstreamed in 6th grade this year. He wanders the classroom, talks to the other kids, bothers them when they're working, etc. If you have questions about FAS and its physical, emotional and behavioral components, feel free to e-mail me at my main screen name, MarcyAF, and I'll be glad to explain anything. FAS is very frustrating at times, but when you have a success, it can be really rewarding.
Marcy
SUBJECT: Re:FAS Child
Date: 96-12-11 20:25:42 EST
From: MagM
Marcy AF - I have been told that FAS children have unique facial features also. Is this true?
i.e.,: Wide spaced eyes, flattened nose.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS Child
Date: 96-12-12 20:38:39 EST
From: BUNITELS
Yes this is true, However not all FAS kids have this.....Karla
SUBJECT:
Re: FASchild
Date: 96-12-17 17:26:05 EST
From: MarcyAF
MagM,
Yes, most of the more severely affected kids do have dysmorphic anomalies. Some include small, wide set eyes; epicanthal folds (mongoloid eyes); short, upturned noses, receding chins, thin vermillion (thin red upper lip); flattened philtrum (cupid's bow); short mid-face; misshapen, low placed or rotated ears; small heads; short stature (below the 5th percentile for age); thin limbs; bent pinky finger; flattened finger tips; and in the most severe, some webbing between the fingers.
In Fetal Alcohol Effect, a milder form of FAS, there may be some or none at all. However, whether the child is FAS or FAE, the behaviors will almost always be evident even in the ones with high IQ's.
I hope this helps. Feel free to write anytime!
Marcy
SUBJECT: Re:FASchild
Date: 96-12-22 08:11:31 EST
From: DONORALOU
Since this is a parents' board, doesn't it make you wonder if the parents who
created these youngsters have any sense of responsibility for them ? Or
maybe some guilt or shame ?
SUBJECT: Re:FASchild
Date: 96-12-22 11:17:38 EST
From: RhoLaren
Donoralou,
This is a parents' and teachers' board as it can be accessed through a parent and a teacher site. Many of the parents posting on this board have adopted the child who has this condition. Stupid thing to say, but the ones who are producing these children, not all, are probably too blotto to post. Sorry, but my feelings on this have just come out. And, no, I will not apologize to anyone who is offended if they were such drunks that they sacrificed their child to their habit. Line drawn in sand.
SUBJECT: Re:FASchild
Date: 96-12-23 00:30:40 EST
From: BUNITELS
that's kind of a crappy thing to say to parents of adopted kids. Most of us have adopted these kids.
You have some nerve I think
SUBJECT: Re:FASchild
Date: 96-12-23 00:55:30 EST
From: RhoLaren
I think we need to make a distinction between the great people who adopt and love children, and those who have hurt their natural children by heavy drinking while pregnant. Those people who help children born to these conditions are great people with loving hearts who deserve credit and whatever else.
SUBJECT: Parental Responsibility
Date: 96-12-24 12:58:00 EST
From: MarcyAF
I think we should refrain from blame. Oftentimes, women don't know they're pregnant until they're several weeks along and the damage is already done. I know of several cases where the women quit drinking immediately when they found out they were pregnant and worried the entire pregnancy and when the baby was born damaged were so torn apart by their remorse that they needed treatment for extreme depression. Other have hated themselves so much, they can't face the child and put him or her up for adoption. Not all women who give birth to alcohol affected children are chronic drunks. Some have binged at the office Christmas party not knowing they were pregnant. Other times, yes, the women are chronic alcoholics who aren't fit to raise their children.
But to categorically claim all women who drink when they are pregnant are horrible people is like saying all women who give children up for adoption are horrible people. That just isn't true. I'd rather think that most of these women have made terrible mistakes, knowingly or unknowingly and have given us their children to care for. I almost thank these women for realizing they can't raise their children and they've trusted that some loving parents will be found for their children. There are hundreds of disabled children put up for adoption each year and my hope would be that all of them find wonderful homes with loving, caring parents.
Marcy
SUBJECT: Re:Parental Responsibility
Date: 96-12-24 18:42:18 EST
From: BUNITELS
Sorry.. it takes more than a few drinks and a few weeks to cause this kind of damage.
Karla
SUBJECT: birth parents
Date: 96-12-24 18:52:35 EST
From: BUNITELS
I still have contact with the b-mom of my son. She drank beer through her whole pregnancy, these women RARELY give their kids up. The are almost always taken away from them..
I have no respect for anyone who drinks during pregnancy, I have seen what it does. I was a foster parent for several years and I have experience and training in fetal drug and alcohol exposure.
Everyone know not to drink and do drugs during or while trying to get pregnant. there are NO excuses any more about not knowing!!!!!
And most these women don't stop having babies either,, My sons b-mom has had 2
more after him. She is married now, and raising them, hopefully booze
free. Anyhow, that's it for me.. merry Christmas all....Karla
SUBJECT: Re:birth
parents
Date: 96-12-25 15:23:00 EST
From: B4ieat
Placing the blame on anyone at this point is rather useless. My concern is how to help these impaired youngsters. I have two FAS kids in my classroom and they are a handful. Both are aggressive both verbally and physically towards their classmates. They can't remain on-task or seated. They have no sense of consequences. One parent is very involved while the other parent of the other student won't participate in any feedback. I find breaking the class assignments into smaller tasks works frequently, but my biggest problem is the behavior. I teach resource math, English and language classes. Two FAS kids can disrupt the entire class. They are constantly yelling inappropriate remarks. They do best mainstreamed into some classes because their regular ed. peers won't tolerate their behavior. I am learning how to cope with these children. Blaming parents is not the answer. I am looking forward to reading the Broken Cord. The mothers of both of these children are at their wits end. I wonder how these youngsters will make it in society after they leave the school system. I am always interested in techniques and learning methods for my new FAS students. Any suggestions?
SUBJECT: Re:FASchild
Date: 96-12-26 10:34:33 EST
From: SusanS29
DONOROLOU most of the parents here of FAS children are ADOPTIVE parents.
They have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about and in fact they have most people's tremendous admiration.
Let's remember that this is an area for support and exchange of information.
SusanS29, Host
SUBJECT: Re:Parental Responsibility
Date: 96-12-26 10:37:22 EST
From: SusanS29
"Sorry.. it takes more than a few drinks and a few weeks to cause this kind of damage."
Actually, one night of drinking-not even terribly heavy drinking-can damage a baby very early in the pregnancy.
I didn't know I was pregnant for 3 1/2 months because we didn't think it was possible.
I spent the remaining 5 1/2 months worried sick that I had done that one
night and didn't recall it. It's a terrible burden to carry.
SUBJECT: Re:birth
parents
Date: 96-12-26 10:40:36 EST
From: SusanS29
"Everyone know not to drink and do drugs during or while trying to get pregnant. there are NO excuses any more about not knowing!!!!!"
Actually there are quite a few people who simply don't know. 16 year old girls who get pregnant, not expecting to-often they end up in this situation after drinking. It's quite possible they'll drink again, possibly several times and possibly fairly heavily, before they realize they're pregnant.
I don't LIKE those kinds of accidents.
LISTEN UP everyone, because at 12:01AM, Dec. 27, the issue of blame for the drinking will be declared "off topic."
The purpose of this area is to exchange information on how to cope with special needs, and we are straying away from it. While I see a need to cover this issue, it needs to be limited so we can get back to the real topic, which is the *education* of these special needs children.
Any messages on blame dated Dec. 27 or later will be removed, so get it out of your system now. :)
SusanS29, Host
SUBJECT: Re:birth parents
Date: 96-12-26 23:27:18 EST
From: RhoLaren
Gotta beat the 12:01 deadline on this.:-) When an FAS child enters the school, the cost to get help for this child can be great. And the prognosis is not good, so the child might have difficulty as a self-sufficient adult.
This adult will need to be provided for. Therefore, I think, as a taxpayer, if nothing else, I, and everyone else who will have to pay, has a right to say anything we want about the people who are producing these children....and probably not taking care of them...etc. And we need to help the parents who adopt these children. Sorry, line still drawn in sand. Kill yourself with drink if you want. Do not hurt an unborn child. Please do not tell me that people do not know the effects. They must be told. Some of these people know, but act in an ignorant and impulsive manner.
SUBJECT: FAS STUDENT
Date: 96-12-27 14:06:35 EST
From: Baranoid
I have a student with this in my classroom. I am a first year teacher and really do not know too much about this syndrome. This boy cannot write or open his locker or even really get books out of his desk on time when other students do. My class is mostly loaded with students who have severe behavior problems and I feel like I am not getting to really help him like I should. I am wondering whether or not I should encourage him to learn how to print or if he is just becoming too frustrated by that. Is there anything I can do to help him with his lack of concentration and coordination? He is the best kid in the class because he is so polite and seems like he wants to learn. I want to help him better. What should I do?
SUBJECT: Re:FAS STUDENT
Date: 96-12-27 14:55:28 EST
From: ORLesley
Baranoid,
Your student definitely needs to and can learn to print unless he is severely disabled. You don't say what grade or how old he is, but maybe starting by using stencils or having him trace would be a good way to begin. Also, having him use a marker would be easier than a pencil. Or, if you want him to work in pencil, have him use a really fat pencil until he improves. Do you know whether or not he has fine motor skills deficits? If he does, you might want to talk to an occupational therapist for ideas on how to help him improve. FAS kids have many behavioral problems and staying on task is a big one. Impulsivity and restlessness, with or without a diagnosis of ADHD is a problem. Breaking tasks up into smaller bites will usually help and routine are very beneficial. Repetition is important as well. Most FAS kids are bothered with a change in routine, so having him do the same things at the same time each day may help as well.
Hope this helps,
Marcy
SUBJECT: Re:FAS STUDENT
Date: 96-12-28 13:55:13 EST
From: SusanS29
"This boy cannot write or open his locker or even really get books out of his desk on time when other students do. "
Can a classmate help him with things like the locker? For that matter-why does such a child have to use a locker? Neither of my girls even use their lockers at school. They carry ALL their books on their back around the HS all day.
Personally I don't think that's a good solution, so here's another one.
A separate set of texts at home. Let him keep his history textbook in his
history class, etc. Ditch the locker.
SUBJECT: Re:birth parents
Date: 96-12-29 05:49:58 EST
From: BUNITELS
this is a parent board also Susan. not just education, if you start putting things off limit, I will report it as a violation, and not return to this board>>>>>
SUBJECT: Re:SUSAN'S ADVICE
Date: 96-12-30 12:18:58 EST
From: Baranoid
Ditch the locker and have a separate set of books would be fine. One problem..... I don't even have enough books for in school!!
Have another student help him??? These other kids are so concerned about who they are getting their next cigarette from. I'm the one who gets his locker open.
My main concern was his writing ability anyway.
SUBJECT: Re:SUSAN'S ADVICE
Date: 96-12-30 14:34:48 EST
From: SusanS29
"My main concern was his writing ability anyway."
We still need to know if he's of normal or near-normal intelligence, and what his reading level is. Then I might have some suggestions. Written expression is something I know a fair amount about.
SUBJECT: Re:SUSAN'S ADVICE
Date: 96-12-30 15:06:02 EST
From: MarcyAF
From MarcyAF (aka ORLesley)
Baranoid:
Susan's advice is right on target. Our son has a separate set of books here at home. He doesn't need to go to a locker at all as they've allowed him to carry just his backpack to classes for pencils, pens, paper, etc. Another thought, although this might be pretty tedious, could you run off copies of a chapter he'll be working on in each of his books and send it home with him a week in advance so he wouldn't have to take his books home? Maybe an aide or a secretary could do this for you.
As far as going to his locker, would it be possible for him to do as our son does and carry his backpack with him all day to avoid going to his locker for anything other than his coat or whatever?
Since you mention cigarettes, I'm assuming he's at the Jr. High or High School level. To not be able to even print at that age says he was passed over during the early grades. If you're pressed for time, you might consider having him take tests and do assignments orally. Does your school have a resource room he could go to for a part of each day? It would seem to me that if he has such deficits, he must be staffed MD and have an IEP. That would allow him to receive SPED services.
Marcy
SUBJECT: Re:SUSAN'S ADVICE
Date: 96-12-31 01:36:50 EST
From: SusanS29
"Another thought, although this might be pretty tedious, could you run off copies of a chapter he'll be working on in each of his books and send it home with him a week in advance so he wouldn't have to take his books home? Maybe an aide or a secretary could do this for you."
That's a violation of copyright law, because it's being done to avoid buying another book-unfortunately.
Copying chapters (even when the whole book ends up copied) to *enlarge* it, to compensate for a visual problem or visual-perceptual weakness, is legal, because it transforms the form of the book into something more easily used by a person with a disability... but just to copy it is a no-no.
Several school districts have been sued by publishers... disgruntled parents
spotted the copyright violation and "ratted" on them.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-12-31 01:59:54 EST
From: A 66 TIGER
Thank you for your message about your FAS student.
I have a multi drug exposed foster child that has just started as a very proud Kinder. I see problems that don't make sense to me. Mine too is very bright. Seems to have long term memory but can't follow two step directions. She draws beautifully and loves to sing. She can't regulate her own behavior. I know all Kinders have this problem, but I'm looking a long term.
I'm a veteran mom and I know problems when I see them. Thanks for your ideas
on classroom management and comments about what you observe. It's helpful
for parents in the trenches.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-12-31 02:16:02 EST
From: A 66 TIGER
I disagree Karla. I need to hear from teachers what they see and experience in the classroom as well as parents who are on the front line. I have a foster child that was to be sent to an institution at 18 mo.
I took her instead. I know very little about what is wrong and what to do about it other than to handle the problems as best I can when they come up. Social Service is nothing more than a paper generating organization. I provide the paper and they shuffle it. We have a different worker each year. None of them have the facts I'm in need of. Please don't discourage anyone from putting their experiences , concerns and advice on-line. You never know what little gem will be helpful to the next person.
I'm sorry for your pain, your exhaustion, and admire your determination
to handle what others consider throw-away children. Together we can all make
a difference.
SUBJECT: Re:FAS/FAE
Date: 96-12-31 02:18:10 EST
From: A 66 TIGER
I too am a parent of a FAE damaged child. Thank you for your comments. I appreciate hearing what your eyes and ears see when trying to teach these children. It is very helpful to me. Keep writing.
SUBJECT: Re: suggestions, ideas???
Date: 96-12-31 02:27:37 EST
From: A 66 TIGER
Great suggestion. Thanks...
SUBJECT: Re:FASchild
Date: 96-12-31 02:48:27 EST
From: A 66 TIGER
Thank you...very helpful...just browsing through.
I have a foster child who is just starting school.
I can't get teachers to take my concerns seriously, but even I who know nothing know when something is not right. I just didn't have the experience and knowledge to express it in terms the teachers and I can communicate in. We all see different things, but none are good. My daughter is in a class of 35 and has been to the principal 3 times before Christmas.
Her parents are hard-core drug addicts. Alcohol was just one of may drugs they consume. Mom has had baby #3 and plans to have more. None are in her care.
One is adopted and two are in foster care. I have baby #2. Thank God, because baby #3 has the same things I see plus physical weakness on her right side (we suspect from crack ) She is almost a year old and can not sit up or crawl. Apparently it is illegal in the State of California for anyone to mention to her that it would be a blessing to all concerned that she have her tubes tied . She won't stop producing because the State kicks in money and benefits the minute she gets pregnant.
SUBJECT: Re:FASchild
Date: 96-12-31 02:49:53 EST
From: A 66 TIGER
No they don't. They produce and collect benefits. Many don't even take the
children home. Foster Care can manage the children even the drug addicts
don't want.
SUBJECT: Re:SUSAN'S ADVICE
Date: 96-12-31 09:51:15 EST
From: ShelleyHL
With regard to copying texts...Our school has done this for some students to enlarge the text. Also, we have highlighted the information that we absolutely want the student to know and learn. In many content area texts there is a lot of excess writing which is sometimes not pertinent for some students. We only do this where the IEP states quite explicitly that the program content will be modified to meet the child's needs. ShelleyHL
SUBJECT:
Re: FAS
Date: 96-12-31 10:19:52 EST
From: Cas1hd
Thanks folks, I just found this board and have spent the whole morning scrolling through. It gives me the enthusiasm to go back to school next week and "reinvent the wheel" for my one FAS student. I needed the break desperately, but I can return now to my ELEVEN MH students (all of varying diagnoses and functioning levels) and start fresh. I needed the reminder of typical obstacles. Have a good New Year everybody!
SUBJECT: Re:SUSAN'S ADVICE
Date: 97-01-01 00:04:05 EST
From: SusanS29
"With regard to copying texts...Our school has done this for some students to enlarge the text. Also, we have highlighted the information that we absolutely want the student to know and learn. In many content area texts there is a lot of excess writing which is sometimes not pertinent for some students."
Yes, that's it. In all those cases, the physical appearance of the book is being modified to help the student learn more efficiently, not to avoid
buying another book.
SUBJECT: Re:SUSAN'S ADVICE
Date: 97-01-02 16:57:35 EST
From: Moongipsy
Sorry Sue, but that just isn't true......If you use the copies for making a new book and selling it, that would be violating the copy right laws. But when you use it for personal use like being stated, it isn't illegal. All you have to do is read the copy right laws at the library, and even within the book.
SUBJECT:
Re: SUSAN'S ADVICE
Date: 97-01-02 19:22:40 EST
From: SusanS29
Moongipsy I'm a publisher, and I guarantee that if we found out someone had photocopied one of our books to avoid buying a second copy we would do something about it.
SUBJECT: Re:SUSAN'S ADVICE
Date: 97-01-04 05:53:01 EST
From: BUNITELS
You wear so many hats, my hats off to you my dear......
SUBJECT: Re: SUSAN'S
ADVICE
Date: 97-01-08 16:54:02 EST
From: Baranoid
TRY HAVING A LITTLE BIT MORE OF CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. ONE PERSON DOES NOT
KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING. WHAT DO YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME WHEN YOU ARE NOT ON HERE TALKING DOWN TO EVERYONE??????? AND YES, I MEAN TO
SHOUT!!!!!!!
SUBJECT: Gee, no posts???
Date: 97-01-11 20:59:15 EST
From: BUNITELS
Haven't seen anyone post here in awhile....I was wondering what kind of training do Teachers have for FAS/FAE?? thanks...............Karla
SUBJECT:
Re: Gee,no posts???
Date: 97-01-11 22:11:37 EST
From: RhoLaren
Teachers maybe get one workshop, in my experience. But, of course, that is what we get on anything, no matter how narrow or broad the topic.
SUBJECT:
Re: Parental Responsibility
Date: 97-01-13 08:10:54 EST
From: Ratatat
<<Not all women who give birth to alcohol affected children are chronic drunks. Some have binged at the office Christmas party not knowing they were pregnant.>>
Thank you. This is true. If they happened to inject alcohol at the 'wrong' moment in fetal development it could cause a problem. They don't necessarily have to have binged - they could have been very mild to moderate drinkers who quit when they found out they were pregnant.
The mother's who are true alcoholics and heavy drinkers have a whole other sent of problems too. They have an addiction issue. In those cases the babies are usually taken by a state's child protective services - because drinking at the high levels many of these women do is truly child abuse.
I've heard reports of the "birth waters' reeking of alcohol!
SUBJECT:
Re: Parental Responsibility
Date: 97-01-13 08:14:33 EST
From: Ratatat
OOPS - sorry Susan. I'm trying to catch up after being off the boards for 3 weeks and missed your caveat about no more posts on alcohol consumption. I think you are right on.
SUBJECT: Re: helping a child w/ change
Date: 97-01-13 10:48:25 EST
From: Kaseyy
Hi all,
Would appreciate some feedback: I have been seeing an FAS child (also identified as having autism) for a local school district for the past two years. The district now needs more time from me to serve other students, and I am unable to do this. So I resigned my small contract, and have helped them locate a replacement therapist. We plan to handle the changeover as follows:
1. He will observe two sessions with the student.
2. I will go over the session plan with the new therapist, who will be carrying it out (at least initially) exactly as it has been done.
3. The new therapist-at the third session-will do the session with the client; I will observe, and provide any needed feedback or support. 4. We will meet with all the other staff to assist in the transition. He ( the new therapist) will be on his own with the student from the fourth week on. I will be available always to network via phone.
Does this sound like an effective transition? Anything else you could suggest? kaseyy
SUBJECT: RE: Helping a child...
Date: 97-01-13 15:51:05 EST
From: MarcyAF
Hi Kaseyy,
Your plan sounds fine. Kids with FAS have real difficulty with a change in routine. You might consider having the new therapist meet with her informally for a few minutes before each session, with you present, so she can get used to him and see that you trust him. She won't have a problem adjusting to him if you're with her every step of the way. Also, FAS kids have little or no stranger anxiety, so don't be surprised if she acts like she's known him all her life!
You might also make a calendar for her that labels each session and your last day with her. She can then cross off each day and see her final session with you coming closer and you can prepare her as needed for that day. This visual reminder might help her cope with the transition more smoothly. Also, keep reinforcing that your not leaving *her* so that she doesn't think she did something to make you leave.
